Singularity of Focus

Sometimes God gives us a phrase, a word, a riddle, a verse, a song, or some other little nugget that we are not sure what to do with. We feel that it’s from God, it gets stuck in our psyche or spirit, but try as we may we cannot make any sense of it. For the past several weeks the three words “singularity of focus” have been reverberating in my mind to the point of annoyance and distraction. I thought it might be from God, but then again thought if it was that I wish He would help me make heads or tails of it or remove it from my consciousness.

I wondered if I had read this phrase somewhere recently and that it just stuck with me. I wondered what possible meanings it could have for me. I thought of the events in my life in light of these three words and came up with a multitude of possible meanings, but I felt certain that while these solutions were possible that they were not actually what God intended. I would convince myself that it meant to doggedly focus on paperwork, or seminary papers and study, or self-development, or health and fitness (that’d be more miracle than focus). I would reason that it meant that whatever I do that I am to do with all my heart, and while that sounded great, I knew it was not quite the meaning God intended.

Despite school assignments and work obligations and a new book referral from a friend, I found myself reading a classic - Watchman Nee’s Spiritual Authority. This is the kind of work that elicits inner-wrestling of the mind and soul. At once I would agree but not like his inferences. You know a book is good if you find yourself in an inner quarrel or questioning what you believe or what the author believes, basically if it forces you to think or challenge your beliefs. This is such a book by such an author.

His premise appears to be that God is the Source and all authority comes from Him. Pretty basic stuff. . .so far, so good, but then he goes off and implies that our reasoning, our thoughts, our feelings, and our beliefs if not directed by God are sin. At this point, my mind began doing the very things Nee was warning against. I began reasoning with God about how it was He that had given me a mind to reason, to think, to believe and now this super-spiritually-credentialed-tested-in-the-fire dude was telling me to stop. But, God, what about my thoughts and feelings that I intend to bring honor to you? What about the reasoning I employ when counseling a client? What about the things that I do – good works – in your name? What about the personal, cultural, meaningful beliefs and opinions that I hold dear as part of my identity? What if to the Nth degree. . . but there is no reasoning with God.

Singularity of focus. What? You again? What’s with this singularity of focus? But, before I could completely get these questions before God, I already knew . . . and this time I knew for sure. It goes back to the very familiar verse in Matthew (6:33). Seek ye first the kingdom of God. But, why didn’t God just say that instead of this singularity of focus business? I would have tuned Him out. I have heard “seek ye first” my entire life. Powerful as the inspired word of God, it had become routine to me. God sneaked it to me through a back-alley of mind causing me to wonder if it was a stray word, intriguing and familiar to my ears yet uncertain in meaning. But, why did it take me weeks to get it? Again, if it had been an instantaneous spiritual zinger, it would have been over as soon as it had been received. I would have likely given it an, “Oh, that’s nice, Seek ye first again” and dismissed it in search of something more current, more relevant to my present situation/s.

As much as I would have loved an obscure verse from deep within a forgotten Old Testament passage, I got Matthew 6:33. Again. Apparently, there is still something that I am not getting. “Seek first God’s kingdom and what God wants. Then all your other needs will be met as well,” Matt 6:33 (New Century Version). The subtitle starting in verse 25 is “Don’t Worry.” Don’t worry about what you’re going to eat, drink, or wear (i.e. finances, job, provision, plans, etc). Lilies of the field, birds of the air, etc. The immediate verses preceding the actual “seek ye first” text are dealing with distractions of focus. Seemingly relevant, important distractions, I might add. Verse 32 stung me like never before, too - “The people who don’t know God keep trying to get these things. . .” So, if I am still trying to get these things, wouldn’t the implication be that I don’t know God? Obviously, I know God well enough to have received my salvation and to be in relationship with Him, but if I am continuing to stress over details then there is a part of me that has not experienced God’s complete truth.

I think I may hang out here in spiritual kindergarten for a bit.